I grew up in Wetherby, a small market town in between Leeds and York. That’s I learned to ride a bike, had my heart broken (aged 10) by a girl for the first time, it’s where Mum used to walk me to playgroup and then we’d have lunch on the sofa while she watched Pebble Mill.

100_2194

Since Mum and Dad moved to Cornwall three years ago, there’s been little reason to go back, but last week I had a meeting there and it felt distinctly odd.100_2195

Like most people my age, I’ve been a bit of a nomad since I left home, but finally I settled back in Leeds – it simply felt right. Now that’s home really, where I’m living now, with Her Indoors and my cat, creating new memories – but I always thought that where I grew up would be home too. Now Mum and Dad have gone it doesn’t feel like that anymore,  it’s more like bumping into an ex-girlfriend, that strange cold familiarity – a shared history instead of future. I still believe that where you grew up leaves some sort of mark on you, but I’m more inclined to think that it’s who you lived with and the experiences you had that matter more than the physicality of it.

Posted in

12 responses to “A house doesn’t make a home”

  1. Rob Mortimer Avatar

    Absolutely.
    I hate my old home town, but I still have fond memories of it. I cant find any other way than what you said to explain that.

    Like

  2. Rob @ Cynic Avatar

    I so relate to that … and what’s weird is that I have those emotions for any place I’ve lived in for a significant time – so while Nottingham will always be my HOME, there’s places now in Sydney, NYC and Singapore that also have [or will have] a similar impression on me when/if I go back.
    Not only that, but I get a similar sense of loss [if that’s the right word, which I think it is but not always in a depressive way] when I see people in the street who resemble my Dad who died almost 8 years ago. Infact I was going to write about this ages ago and now you’ve inspired me to do it.
    Well said …

    Like

  3. Andrew Avatar

    Blimey, that puts it in perspective. There’s me going on about missing Mum and Dad when they’re only six hours away. Sorry to hear about your Dad, really.

    Like

  4. Onewomanrunning Avatar

    I relate to that – and I live at home with my mum, but whenever I go past our old flat (it’s in the same town) I get that feeling. I lived in Japan for two years and I still get homesick for the place and I find that really strange, but I do.
    Ok, got to get off the computer the cat is eyeing up my hands as I type – he’s going to attack.

    Like

  5. Rob @ Cynic Avatar

    Haha … don’t think I’m a suicidal old sod, it’s just a natural [at least I hope it’s natural, ha]feeling of loss that isn’t just about sadness but also happiness, love, warmth and at certain times, frustration – because I’d love him to be involved in what I am doing, what I have done and what I am thinking. He was always clever at telling me I was wrong, haha

    Like

  6. Marcus Brown Avatar

    I was born in Southampton, England. My home is Munich, Germay.

    Like

  7. FishNChimps Avatar

    The sadness of nostalgia… I used to spend my holidays in a small Merseyside town with my grandparents, in the house that my father and uncle were brought up. When the last of them died, I simply couldn’t bear the thought of visiting the town, let alone driving past the front door. Maybe it’s a Northern thing.

    Like

  8. Andrew Avatar

    Rob, one of the greatest joys of growing up is being able to have a proper conversation with Dad. He’s thrilled we can talk about grown up things now, and I’m glad I’ve someone wiser than me to get advice from. If only i’d listened to him sooner.
    Mr Chimps, I can’t drink tetley bitter without thinking about grandad who used to look after the shire horses. Northerners are softies after all…

    Like

  9. Rob @ Cynic Avatar

    Just wanted to say thanks for inspiring me about this sort of thing on my blog. Bit depressing – but today I’m allowed to be.
    Hope all is well – and Bazza doesn’t look he’ll be able to come to your summit, he’s stuck in Laaaaandan Town.

    Like

  10. Northern Planner Avatar

    Rob I’ve read your post and I don’t know what to say, except thanks for sharing. Really.
    Sorry about Bazza, hope he enjoys his shandy.

    Like

  11. Rob @ Cynic Avatar

    Sorry it’s depressing, just had to get it out. Bazza has just called, he’s hating everything about England so maybe it’s a blessing, ha!

    Like

  12. viagra online Avatar

    Way to go, Purcellville! I have a sister who moved there 4 years ago, and she was impressed with how “green conscious” this country town is. She also mentioned that the “powers that be” do a great job of educating the residents and providing community support for their programs.

    Like

Leave a comment