NORTHERN PLANNER

If you've ever had the misfortune to spend much time with CRM gurus or 'data driven marketing specialists' you'll be familiar with the terms 'aquisition' 'conversion' and 'retention'.

It all feels a little uncomfortable doesn't it? In some parts like some sort of aggressive corporate raider from the 1980's bent on acquiring companies and then stripping their assets for a killing.

In others, a little like Scientologists, or other disquieting cults looking to convert and retain acolytes.

It's also anathema for anyone who's spent any time looking at how marketing and brands really work.

No brand 'aquires' 'converts' or 'retains' enough people for sustained sales growth.

Few care about brands nearly enough for that level of cut and dried shifts in a relationship, as of course, it's not really a relationship, more just one a few vague aquaintances. 

This is where the 'cult' metaphor is of more use, since the only people that care that much are slightly wierd 'cult like' fans of the brand.

Not only are they a big minority, in terms of numbers and sales value, they would have bought anyway, whatever the clever email marketing campaign and digital measuring doo-dahs. Most CRM stuff simply measures a sale that would, most likely, have happened in any case.

A better use of words to describe interactions with brands would be:

'Get noticed at all'

'Create sort of weak habit'

'Try and stay fresh and interesting to stop that weak habit getting even more weak'.

When any kind marketing guru uses words best kept to cultish charlatans selling you moonshine, you can probably assume that's is exactly what they are really offering.