NORTHERN PLANNER

Agency review – we haven't the balls to fire our agency

369 degree thinking – we can't afford TV

Aligned – big agency speak for 'we agree' or, more precisely, we don't agree but we want you to think we do

All agency workshop – lots of suits and planners doing passive aggressive and achieving nothing

Amplification – Can we have a bigger media budget?

Best practise – copy everyone else

Brainstorm – useless, half baked ideas

Cultural strategy – strategy

Chemistry meeting – free ideas

Challenger strategy  -strategy

Content led -we can't afford strategy

Consumer led – written by  a focus group

Digital strategy – strategy

Disruption strategy – strategy

Hard working – tactical retail ads given to a junior team because no one else wants to do them

Intuitive – trust us. This is brilliant. Versus counter intuitive, trust us, this is even more brilliant, even though it makes no sense, not even to your target

Lateral thinking – the brief's bollocks so we ignored it

Learnings – cock ups

Media Arts strategy – strategy

Media neutral – we can't afford TV

Populist – written for the lowest common denominator

Provacative (person) – bad manners

Provacative (campaign) – brand manager will get fired if it doesn't work

Resign the account – fired

Strategist – planner

Safe pair of hands – useless

Scope it out – get someone (not me) to actually make this unworkable idea work

Soft launch – NPD have given us a dog and we haven't the clout to tell them no one will buy it. Or no one got their act together in time (see All Agency Workshop)

Tissue session – presentation of weak, half baked ideas

Thought leadership – market share losership

Think of us as partners, not suppliers – we want to renegotiate the fee

Work in progress – work not started but we had to show you something