NORTHERN PLANNER

Today is Mrs Northern's last day at work before maternity leave. I could go on about my awe of how she's handled a difficult pregnancy while dealing with an overly energetic toddler, move house (still in progress), look after me through a minor operation and still find the energy to smile and put up with the general frustrations of being married to me, but I won't. Oh, I just have.

Anyway, the imminent arrival or our second baby is becoming much less of an idea and increasingly a real event. It's not as daunting as the first time, but nevertheless, I'm steeling myself again for the sleepless nights and, just as we got used to having evenings and stuff, no time.

That's easy of course, it still amazes me how all of this come naturally. It's not even hard really, it's a joy, the intense pleasure in feeling useful, needed and wanting to be there for people. Of course, it's not like going out fighting in wars, fending off sabre toothed tigers and such, but there's much meaning to be found in caring for someone (soon someone's) far more than yourself, when the most special word in the world is, 'Daddy'.

It throws work into sharp perspective, not only showing up what we do as a little silly, but also as the most important thing in the world. It puts roof over our heads, feeds and clothes us and buys Thomas the Tank Engine stuff.

The most surprising part of it all for me though, it the realisation that suddenly, you don't judge what you do are don't do by what you can get away with, what you want or don't want, or even what it right or acceptable. You want to make sure that when the little ones grow up, they're going to be proud. You want to be able to look them in the eye and tell them you did your best. When they're toddlers, you're a God, when they're teenagers, you're an idiot, but eventually, they're going to able to look at you and be able to judge. I suppose I'm saying I want to survive the scrutiny.