NORTHERN PLANNER

The internet is ablaze (sorry for the pun) at fate of a young, sweet innocent girl was burned alive by her parents, in service of fanatical religion – on a fantasy drama series you'll be familiar with. You'll know what I'm talking about it you've seen it, if not, you've been saved the spoiler.

Some are understandably up in arms at the torture of a character many took to their hearts. Others talk, in sophisticated terms on the value of getting people to question their belief systems and showing the unvarnished truth about religion, medieval times and so so.

I must say it affected me, but for very simple reasons.

I used to get annoyed at parents in research who could only talk about their kids.

They framed every experience through their experience with their children.

I didn't understand this but I do now.

Nothing changed my life like having my two of my own.

The unconditional love is so fundamental. I can't think I wouldn't do for them if required.

They know, and will know for the rest of their lives that, when it comes down to it, if they needed me I'd drop anything and be there to do what is required.

Which is why the made scene of a girl being burned at the stake by her parents is so shocking, I'd rather burn MYSELF alive. Not my little girl.

But it's not just that.

My eldest is five and is still holding on to his innocence, but you see the cracks.

But Evie, my Evie.

She's three and such a sweet little innocent little thing. You fight a doomed battle to preserve it, knowing it's only a matter of time, but utter trust in you always being there never goes away.

Breaking that trust is unthinkable. And the faith doesn't go away when you grow up.

Juliette's Dad isn't very well and, while intellectually you know they won't always be there, the emotional reality really knocks you.

With both my kids, especially my eldest actually, I see so much of myself.

They're both so INTERESTED. They're quick learners, they love books, they have this total love for whatever they're into. Right now it's sharks, and we read endless books about them, and Will draws these amazing pictures of every species he can. If he loves something, he has to draw it.

It makes me feel responsible, as this came from me.

Juliette says she sees Will's eyes glaze over when they're chatting and she knows he's away daydreaming.

Like his Daddy.

We know that he, and to a lesser extend her will end up quite sensitive, kind and little bookworms.

We know we need to protect this is and help them with introversion, while absolutely letting them know how proud we are of them as they are, and their interests and passions should be respected and developed.

This in a world where they're going to have to compete like never before.

I see an army of ferociously well educated children already readying themselves for the dwindling jobs and prosperity. I see a world that sees the cost of everything and the value if nothing.

It's my job to help them through this, but keep who they are intact. No, to flourish.

That's why burning your child in a fantasy show affected me. Because that innocent trust is the most fundamental thing in the world. It becomes your world.

There's conflict of course. In my case the obsession with swimming and cycling, wanting to read and watch stuff and the realities of being a planner that is better for their upbringing than it is for being a planner.

There needs to be some balance, but the scales will always tip in favour who I really am.

Their father. 

We're really close. I'm a very tactile parent. We hug a lot, we tickle more. I dread the coming years when they start to pull away.

Right now a single kiss can be magic. It can make everything go away. I can make them believe that when I snap my fingers, my nose will beep when they touch it, and their will honk.

I quail at the time when they're teenagers when we laugh together less and they laugh at me more. When they do the whole rejection thing. I can't imagine yet the pain of reaching to take a hand and only grasping empty air.

It will come.

Which is also why I get annoyed with so much advertising around parenting.

Much of the themes are the hard work, the 'job aspect'. The joy in sacrifice. It's true, it's bloody hard work.

But it seems to miss what most parents (this isn't just a view, decent research seems to corroborate this) want to feel.

No parent has a child because they want another job.

It's about love, it's about a relationship, it's about playing, it's about the watching someone grow and helping shape how that turns out.

There's some insight for you if you like, I suppose.

So yes, all that from a burning child on a fantasy show.

I'm off to call my Mum now, I suggest you do them same.