NORTHERN PLANNER

Always tricky this, especially in the days when clients like to work with a collective of different specialists. There is no such thing as handbook, but the unwritten rules are legion.

1. Under no circumstances should you offer a direct opinion on a partner agency's work in a client meeting, even if they are not there. If the work is really bad, you don't ever say how bad it is, not only might the client have talked to agency already and really like it, meaning you're criticising the client, you can be rest assured said agency will take their beating with good grace, then wait for the precise opportunity to return the favour with a very sharp knife in the back. If it's really good, you still have the client problem where they might secretly hate it……and if the client likes it, don't make then love it too much, you have your own work you want them to like too. If a client asks you direct, if it's awful, damn it with faint praise. If it's great, find a weakness in it, sow a seed of doubt in the client's mind by picking a small element of the work and praising it…but in way that gives the client second thoughts. Same strategy really,"Really like the bravery of the casting". "Great the media plan is sticking by YouTube despite the recent news on safety".
2. Do people favours. If you want people to do stuff for you, do something for them first. Works in everyday life, works in agency life. Work out what the partner agency really wants, work out how you can help. Just make sure it's something they really want that's neither here nor there to you. You would be amazed if you work in a media agency how much data the creative agency hasn't got. Creative agency types don't realise how bored media planners are, that's why they try and muscle in on creative work, it's because it's far more interesting that deciding where to put the 'x' on an Excel spreadsheet – throw them bone to make them feel they're involved in the creative process…etc, etc.
3. Give it a new name if you want to do a land-grab. There's a blur these days between what agency does what. Officially, that's to do with required new approaches thanks to changes in consumer behaviour. In reality, agencies have been really good at re-branding bits of media and creative so they can steal it from partner agencies. For example, no one does creative work apart from the creative agency, and no one fills up the 'paid media' apart from the ad or digital agency. So media folks hit on the idea of 'content'. From this comes new species like 'content partnerships', or stuff which doesn't quite feel like 'paid for ads'. Content is totally up for grabs. Just like 'advertorials' used to be done by the ad agency, but 'native' content can be done by anyone. It's like 'media planning' is done by the media agency, but 'communications planning' can be done by anyone. Communications planning can also be a new name for brand planning, so suddenly, leading strategy can be done by anyone, depending on what you call and it and what you think the new name means. There's even more exotic agency processes like 'Media Arts' or 'The Demand Chain' which are just genius – no one has a clue what on earth these things are so you can use them to grab any part of the client budget you like. 'Digital strategy' is another of these. Because digital strategy is really a part of overall strategy, it can be done by anyone and be a powerful tool to steal as much client business and you can. Just like 'anything between the consumer and brand is media, so we have the right to have a point of view on everything'. If you're bored just doing 'media' make media mean something else.
4. Let them Run Out of Steam All agency meetings are like watching children play football, they just can't help themselves chase the ball. Everybody wants to talk first, usually cutting against each other, building to passive aggressive verbal dodgeball. Eventually everyone runs out of steam, or forgets what they were talking about. This is where you step in with a dose of intelligent common sense.
5. But Timing is Everything Of course, sometimes you are up against some brilliant operators. if you're not careful, they'll deftly control the agenda, always moving it on before there is any real conclusion, in order to post rationalise the whole meeting later. For this kind of slippery beast you need to have one killer point to make, and one alone. You'll have to interrupt, but you can only interrupt once. Start it with, "What I'd like to understand is…..". Or even better, "Who wants a coffee". Before anyone has a chance to kick off again, post drink, jump in with, "I've been thinking about that last point and……" No agency folk can resist coffee…………..
6. Always supply excellent tea and coffee. The above point means you need to pay people the respect of having stuff folks want to drink. That doesn't mean the space age Ipad coffee machines at places like Twitter, not does it mean a £1,000 espresso maker, or even offering lattes. Tea made in warmed pot, ideally with Yorkshire Tea. Coffee made with freshly ground beans, served in a french press. You can tell a lot about people by how they make drinks, and if they serve biscuits. It's worth treating people well, because when you have all sorts of people on your patch, you can have lots of little conversations, the stuff that actually gets stuff done. Some of that is getting a little extra time with the client, but there is more………..
7. Many conversations, less meetings. Let's be clear, due to much of the above, very little gets done in all agency meetings. If you're lucky, a few things get agreed. In fact, there is usually an unspoken pact to make sure little gets done or agreed. Just like the back room skulduggery that decides most government policy, in any country, like 'sofa government' in the Tony Blair era here in the UK, 'sofa planning' is where things really get decided. Like the inner cabal of most governments, most inter agency groups have a shadowy group who really decide things. In many cases, this group does not include representatives from every agency, indeed, this happens rarely. It is critical you get yourself into this inner circle. Another reasons to watch not just the workings of the meetings, but the flow of how things get communicated and signed off in between. Signed off plans, budgets and whatever sometimes seem to 'emerge'. Only after the event do you find out about a critical call with a client. This means careful forensic work to understand where these alliances lie. Then decipher the means to break into this invisible world. Mostly, that means being not only exceptionally talented and sensible, it also means observing most of the above rules and 'not being a dick'. Then you'll suddenly find yourself having a chat over coffee on the way back to the tube, or chatting in a taxi and, in five minutes, agreeing what wasn't concluded in four hours of agenda points. Sometimes you'll find the secret society really doesn't want new members and it's all sewn up though, this is when you need to pull in the 'do people a favour rule'.
8. Don't get emotional. Psychologists have long known that people make every different decisions when they are emotionally stimulated. Pure arousal makes us do all sorts of stuff and there is a breed of flirty agency suit who is brilliant and making you feel like the only person in the world (either sex I hasten to add). Next thing you know, you've surrendered your budget for some madcap awards chasing caper, or being roped in to delivering bad news to the client that's only bad news to the partner agency, until now that is. There's the brilliant clever planner whom the client loves who calls for a catch up – you're pathetically grateful to be treated as an equal and come off the call you've given away all sorts of thinking and secrets, in exchange for knowing what the caller had for lunch. Just as there are partner agencies (hi Mother) who trade on being quite good, but mostly one being very very cool. Like the characters in The Devil Wears Prada, this means being rude to everyone. It's very easy to get annoyed at people who stare out of the window when you're talking, or deliberately goad you, but you make the very worse decisions when you are angry. And end up looking stupid.
9. Learn the Lingo. Marketing speak is a disease. However, like the common cold, it isn't curable, only the healthiest can mostly stave it off. Every agency group has it's own language and codes. Don't say a bloody thing until you've sat in few meetings and worked it out. The really good groups, and clients, can't be bothered with this, and you'll find the babblers are outside of the 'cabal'. However, in the less righteous groups, the babble happens in the meetings and the common sense only commences in the cabal. Know which is which.
10. Write the Contact Report. No one likes doing this. But the smart agency knows what was agreed in meeting didn't happen unless it's captured in the contact report. You can't change the outcome of a meeting but you can bend it to your will with careful writing. History is written by the winners, but with contact reports, you can win by writing the history.
11. Trust No One. Don't expect anyone to do what they promised to do, even if they're name is against an action the contact report. Don't expect them to get it right, just expect them to blame you when it goes tits up. So politely do people a favour and make sure they're doing what they promised. Take the initiative.
12. Clients are not parents. Squabbling kids are bad at home. Clients can't be bothered to deal with warring agencies. Secretly they quite like some competition, but only if it keeps everyone on their game. No matter how much you hate each other's guts, no matter how much you've fallen out, never EVER let the client see it. Just like they don't expect to organise projects and make sure stuff happens between meetings.
13. Love your lead agency. Being lead agency is a double edged sword. Yes, you get more fee and decide the overall shape of the campaign, but it's also down to you to make other agencies play nicely and make everything happens. It also means that if you decide everything, you get blamed when it all goes wrong. So sometimes just be grateful to be a junior partner, be told what to do,take your fee and move on with your life. What doesn't work is trying to take the lead when it's not your agreed role. Not only will you fall out with the folks who have a closer client relationship that you, if it goes wrong, it's your fault and you didn't get paid for the additional responsibility.
14. Be Patient. If you fancy being lead agency, but you're not, play the long game. Only if the lead agency are there because of great results rather than relationships (hi Mother). No matter how good they are, eventually they'll mess up. The nice people who people like, usually survive this, the hipper Devil Wears Prada folks get fired.It's another reason to not rise to inter agency rudeness, if you are not owed any favours, if no one wants you to do well, one false move and you're out. If people are brilliant AND lovely though, I can't and won't help you….we need nice people to do well in this business, enjoy working with nice people that are probably teaching you something………..
15. Steal generously. I learned more working with partner agencies than I ever did internally. That's nothing against the people I've worked for (mostly) it's rather that when you go into situations not just wanting to win and believing everyone else to be inferior, you pick up all sorts of knowledge, approaches and bits of insight from a wider mix of folks. I'm not very clever and have recycled a presentation from a certain partner agency from a few years ago at least once a year. They know this and enjoy the fact it's done some good.The thinking is my own, the approach is theirs. Let them steal from you too, be generous with your ideas, eventually you'll find them quoting you in meetings and stuff, even better, people they know will want to hire you.
16. Do the table push-back. Sometimes you are dealing with bell ends. No matter how you try to help, they push on regardless. Let them hang themselves with the rope you've given them. Body language here is essential. If you know the client will violently hate what they're presenting, as soon as they start on the intro, get all of your team, and hopefully your other partners, so push away from the table and all sit back. Be as still as gnomes. The client will get you wanted no part of this, but were too grown up to make a bun fight of it. This is especially true of new agencies that want to make their mark (see point 7 about cabals) – make sure you're not that new agency. If you see the 'push-back' when you're talking, it's time to over do the favours bit.
17. Never ever change another agency's deck. In many cases, one agency will sort the slides on a joint agency presentation. Don't change a thing, it's just the way it is.
18. Pay. On all agency nights out, always get your round. Never be the one to go home first, unless you know drinking will make you lose your cool (see point 8) Take your turn buying lunch, take your turn to host too, it's worth it (see point 6)
19. Be nice, life really is too short.
20. It's not fair, toughen the hell up. Your best ideas will get cast aside in the final all agency plan. You'll have to surrender budget to some over thought madcap idea. You'll have been saying the same thing for weeks, then in walks the creative director from another agency on a one off visit, who says the same thing and then it gets bought. Or the media agency brings in someone from Channel 4 and you find your script destroyed in favour of 'content'. Like any uneasy alliance, no one wins completely, sometimes you lose. The best you can hope for, is that by being patient, even handed, self aware and just that little bit sneaky, you mostly win most of the time by trying to help everyone mostly win most of the time. In other words, it's rarely fair, get used to it. It's easy to get frustrated, it's easy to lose your cool. It's hard to play a longer, game, but that's the secret.